Fake It 'til You Make It

I don't tend to write much when I am feeling down.  Like most people I prefer to hide away when things aren't going the best. I don't like to share that I am struggling or that I need help.  I prefer to keep it all in and try to deal with it myself.

Well, I try to deal with it mostly by myself.  Inevitably my mother, my fiancee and my closest friends hear about my big struggles, but I don't usually go write a blog about them.  Perhaps I should be more transparent, but to be honest, I don't really want to.

I have to say that in the last several months I have really struggled.  Among all the changes in my life in the past six months, I feel like I have been constantly faking excitedness, happiness and enthusiam.  I was excited to move to Minot and start a new life, but there so many different things going on, many days my excitement felt forced.  But I am happy to say that now more often than not I don't feel like I am faking it anymore. I feel like I might actually be making it.

It's Snowing!

Every time it snows, I think of this scene in the movie "Hook".  It has been snowing all day today in Minot.  Not the kind of snow that sticks to the ground or anything, but the kind of snow that marks the beginning of winter and cold weather.

My mom said I should write down the date and the fact that it is snowing in Minot for the first time since I moved here.  I asked her why and she said "You'll forget so much of what happened in your first year living on your own."

She's probably right, she usually is.  And she got me thinking about all the things that have happened to my since I left Valpo in May.  The day to day life can sometimes a struggle, but overall things are looking pretty good.

I haven't posted much since moving here.  I've been pretty busy.  My work schedule can literally change by the hour, though usually I have at least a day of notice.  Usually.  I am still the only person in my office, there is also a surveyor based out of the Minot office, but he is very rarely actually in the office.  The company is hoping to hire some other people up here soon, just gotta find people who are willing to come to ND, and more specifically Minot.

I have made friends with my coworkers, and I fairly regularly go down to Bismarck to spend time with them on the weekend.  They are fun to be around (and they will be the first to tell you that they are awesome).  They have introduced me to some other people and we get along pretty well.  I don't wanna speak too soon, but I can see us being friend for a while.

It's taken a while, but I am finally starting to build a support base here in Minot.  I have been going to a UCC church here, I am not always crazy about the service, but the people are wonderful.  The 20-something population of this church has grown significantly since I started going in May.  That's been a pretty good place to meet people.

I also found the local running store and was able to volunteer to work a water station during the local half marathon.  While volunteering I met another former collegiate swimmer, (whose mother is an avid runner, sound familiar?) and now she and I both coach for one of the local club teams.

Those are just some of the things I have been up to in the past five months.  I will try to post more often in the coming months!

Summer Food Struggles (My foray into NSNG eating)

Since graduating college in May so many things in my life have changed.  One of the biggest changes has been moving to ND and actually living on my own... and cooking for myself.

I have a natural metabolism that lets me get curvy pretty quickly.  Every year between swim seasons I would gain 10-15 pounds, but then I would lose it again once I got back in the pool again so I never really worried about it too much.

This year was different.  I was done with college swimming and I know I will probably never work out that much again.  So something needed to change.

Now that I was truly living on my own I tried doing some cooking and eating pretty healthy but I was still gaining that usual weight.  I discussed my dilemma with a buddy and he suggested that I check out Vinnie Tortorich's podcast.

Vinnie preaches a No Sugar No Grains (NSNG) type of eating, a low carb high fat style of eating.  When my buddy first mentioned NSNG I thought, "No way.  I love bread and ice cream and everything grains and sugar!  No way I'd ever be able to do this!"  But I figured I'd give it a listen anyway, it couldn't hurt anything, right?

The first couple podcast were entertaining.  Anna Vocino (the podcast's cohost) did not live a NSNG lifestyle and she was just as skeptical about the whole thing as I was.  She asked a lot of questions that I had and she even experimented with NSNG and reported her results.

Vinnie was always throwing out actual studies and science to support what he was preaching.   According to him  NSNG is a maintainable change in eating style which would keep you at a healthy weight without too much exercise (too good to be true, right?).  He said that as you cut out grains and sugar your body starts to run on fat instead of glycogen (sugar).  Eat sugar get fat, eat fat get lean.  He had a lot of good information to back up what he was saying.

But it was really Anna's testimonial that convinced me.  I decided to try it.

I went cold turkey into NSNG.  To put it simply it didn't work the first time.  I got really nauseous and my body was not handling the change well.  I couldn't just sit around and wait the nausea out since I had to be moving for work.  I went back to a grain and sugar based diet.

But I kept listening to the podcasts.  What they were saying made sense to me and I really wanted to do it.  I wanted to be healthier and not worry as much about my weight.  As I listened to the podcasts I began to make small changes to my routine and diet.

I switched out 1% milk for full fat milk.  I began eating more eggs and bacon and less cereal for breakfast.  I started reading labels at the supermarket so I could avoid buying (and eating) grains and sugar.  Especially sugar.

Now I am about two weeks into almost complete NSNG.  I became fat adapted sometime last week.  I realized I was fat adapted when I wasn't too hungry at meal times and smaller amounts of food were keeping me sated.  I have actually lost a couple pounds since before I began experimenting with NSNG and I weigh less than I did at the end of high school.

I am still struggling with this style of eating.  I have to learn new recipes and make sure that I am getting enough fat in every day.  I feel like this is a maintainable style of eating.  And as an added bonus I feel great about my body.

I will definitely be continuing NSNG.  I will try to keep you posted on my progress.

In the meantime, you can go check out Vinnie and NSNG on iTunes or at vinnietortorich,com

And I said Yes!!

This last week, my boyfriend has been here in North Dakota.  I spent the first half of the week abandoning him at my apartment while I went to work for approximately 12 hours a day. Thankfully this work week was a short one with the 4th of July holiday on Thursday.  I elected to take Friday off as well so that I could spend more time with him.

In the North Dakota Badlands

We decided to take a trip to the North Dakota Badlands to celebrate the 4th with the natural beauty of our great country.  When we got to the South Unit of Theodore Roosevelt National Park we drove the 36 mile long scenic route.  Since he is a photographer, naturally we had to stop at every scenic overlook point and trail head for him to get some great pictures.


We stopped by the highest point in the park, Buck Hill, and decided that that location would make a good place to get

Just before he asked.  I was completely not expecting it.

pictures of the sunset later that night.


After a trip into town for dinner and a stop to set up our tent for the night we returned to Buck Hill to wait for the sunset.  Kevin set up his camera and started taking pictures, testing, getting his settings right.  I explored the hill a bit more then went and sat down on a rock near his camera to read.


A few minutes later he came over an sat next to me.  We just sat there for a bit watching the sun go down.  Then he

My beautiful ring.  It belonged to his grandma.

turned to me and said "Justine, Will you
marry me?" and pulled out a beautiful ring.


Just like that.  I was shocked.  Of course I wanted him to ask, but I didn't expect it that day.  I said "Yes!!", hugged him, kissed him and hugged him again.


I was so happy.  I am so happy.  He is my best friend, and now I get to be with him forever!


We have not set any dates yet. We have not picked a location.  It may be a couple years until we actually get married, but we are engaged now and I could not be happier.

Why Not Minot?

I have now been in Minot for a bit more than 3.5 weeks and I feel like I am still in school with the amount I am learning.

For example: Did you know that North Dakota is the only state to have never experienced an earthquake?  How about the fact that North Dakota has almost a negative unemployment rate?

Yep, those are just a few things I am learning.

I also learned that North Dakota natives are not crazy about this oil rush.  The rush is bringing in all kinds of people, but at the same time, the money is not all staying here.  I heard a story about an oil truck driver who picked up a load in ND and drove to Iowa to drop it off.  He then picked up a load in IA and drove back to ND and made a profit.  Even with all those miles, he still made money.  That is just sad.

Prices here are so inflated.  I found out that the apartment that I currently have would have cost approximately a quarter of the price before the rush.  Wild.

On that note, I am extremely lucky to have found an apartment before I got here.  There was a major flood in Minot in 2011 and they are still recovering from it.  On top of the aquatic flood, there has now been a flood of people which has caused housing to be extremely scarce.

In my head I call North Dakota the New New York, the New Frontier, and the New Mixing Pot.  With the oil rush there are so many new people moving to ND, me included, that it feels like I am sure New York felt when everyone was immigrating.  The clash of cultures in western ND is pretty crazy.  From the man-camps way out west to all the new people here in Minot there is a lot of adjustment going on.

Well I am going to end my post here.  There is still so much more I to learn about ND and I have so much to tell you, but I will share it is small bits so that you are not as overwhelmed as I was at first.

Much Love,
Justine

Have a Wonderful Mother's Day

It is Mother's Day.  And I have a dilemma.  I started sending out text messages, the first one of course was to my very favorite Mother, my own.  Then I sent one to my aunt, my boyfriend's mother, both my grandmothers.  I wanted to keep sending them.  There are so many wonderful mother's who have been in my life.  It is hard to know where to stop and to keep make sure that I sent one to all the important mothers.  So I decided to make a post about all of them.

Me and my Momma at an open
water race

Obviously the most vital Mother in my life is the one who brought me into this world (and as she liked to remind me when I was in trouble, since she brought me into this world, she could take me out).  I had a wonderful childhood and was raised by a woman who loved me very much.  When she wasn't cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, she was listening to and helping me cope with all the hardships of my middle class suburban teenage life.

She even managed to become a pretty incredible athlete while my three siblings and I were growing up.  I have lost count of the number of marathons and half marathons that she has run.  She has never run to win the race, she runs for the love of the sport.  She passed on her love of sports to me and my siblings and now she passes it on to the entire community as her job is to train people (many who have never run before) to run half marathons.

My mother is an amazing woman and I am so glad to have her in my life.  I have been blessed to have so many other mothers and "mothers" in my life.

One of my grandmothers and some of my church mothers.

Unfortunately there are not a lot of pictures on the internet
from when I was growing up, so this is the best I could find to
picture as many as I could, it is not by any means all of them.

There were of course my relative mothers; my grandmothers and aunts, both natural and foster.  Each of these ladies played a part in my growing up at some point.  With some I went to museums and parks, with some I learned music,  some I would go to when I needed a different way to looks at things but with all of them I learned.  I love each of them in their own right and I know that I would not be where I am today without the influence of these ladies.

Then there were of those were the ladies from church and school and swimming.  The ones who had kids around my age.  From birth until now, these Mommas could solve problems, listen, or put the fear of god in me, or any of us, just as well as our own mothers.

Everyone knows that you cannot forget teachers.  From age 4 on, there was never a year in school when I did not have at least one woman teacher.  They may not all have been mothers in their own rights, but they gave my mother a break and cared for me for at least eight hours a day.

My other grandmother and I

At different points in my life I have had different women as sudo-mothers.  College was no different.  I have a woman here who I call my Valpo-momma.  To most of Valpo she is a force to be reckoned with, but for me she is someone who solves problems and listens and cares.  That makes her a mother to me.

She was not the only mother character I had in Valpo.  The lunch ladies, who I posted about earlier, could be counted as mothers too.  Most of them have children and grandchildren of their own and still they "adopt" everyone of us who goes through their lanes each day. 

Google defines a mother as being "A woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth."  I do not believe that is the whole definition.  They say it takes a village to raise a child, and villages are usually made up of mothers and fathers.  So I say that a mother is any woman in your life who has helped you get where you are today.

I am sure that I have missed some of my mothers in this post.  And I know that there will still be more in my life to come.  But to all you who have helped me and supported me and cared for me through my growing up.  I thank you.  I love you all and I hope that you all have a

Wonderful Mother's Day!!!

One Last Photography Project: Signs of Spring

Everything is "Lasts" right now.  A post about all the "lasts" may follow shortly.  But this post is for my last photo shoot for my digital photography class.

I went out to try and capture a scene entitled "Signs of Spring".  This follows in the form of a photo essay which is similar to the one I did a couple weeks ago.  You can see that one at this location: http://figmentsofanengineer.blogspot.com/2013/04/art-163-photo-essay-revisited.html

Here is my newest one.  I will let the story speak for itself.

Making the Sale

As a junior in college I took a class offered at Valpo through the Dale Carnegie Training.  In the class we read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.  And throughout the 12-week course we learned about the Golden Rules of dealing with people.  Basically it boiled down to the true golden rule: "Treat people the way that you want to be treated."  Some of the ways of doing that are to make the other person feel important, intelligent and respected.

This weekend I have been making or helping to make decisions on a couple big purchases.  A car for me and a computer for my brother.  During this decision making process I have had some very different experiences with sales personal.

During our computer shopping experience at Best Buy we had two different salesmen.  The first was great, he answered our questions, pointed us in the direction of sales and really helped us find what we were looking for.  The second one, not so much.

This guy only spoke to my brother.  When I asked questions he ignored them or skirted around them.  He would not look me in the eye but was constantly calling my brother "my man" and focused on him.  Yes, my brother was the one looking for the computer, but I did not appreciate being treated that way.  My brother also noticed this rude behavior and made a comment to me about it.  When checkout was complete the salesman shook hands with my brother, but again ignored me.

Beyond being rude, that salesman made me never want to buy anything from that Best Buy again.  If the first salesman had not been so nice and helpful, I don't know that I would return to the store.

Every salesperson should treat every person who comes into their store as a potential customer.  They should be polite, answer questions and if they are speaking with more than one person, they should be sure to focus answers at both rather than at one.

There are some sales professionals who have more of a stereotype of being biased to particular buyers.  Some of the most stereotypical offenders are cars salespeople.  During my car shopping experience I again had some good and some bad.

The worst offend on the car side was the Ford salesman.  My aunt and I were looking at cars on the lot and he came out and the first thing he said to us was, "Is there anything I can help you find, girls?"

Excuse me? Girls?

Ladies would have been fine, but not girls.  Neither of us are teenagers, we are well past the point of being "girls".  I was looking to buy a new car, to drive out on the roads, not a pretty pink one to drive around the tree in the front yard.

This salesman also asked me if I had picked out a color of car that I wanted to test drive.  I told him that no, I hadn't because the color really does not matter when I'm inside.

Unfortunately, the Ford
salesman embodied another
car industry stereotype

I am sure that not all Ford salesmen are this way.  But even if the Ford car was the one I was looking for, I don't think I would have bought from that salesman, or even that dealership.  If this is how I am treated when I am just looking for a vehicle, how will I be treated once I have actually given them my money?

I visited three other dealers this weekend.  The guy at Chevrolet, was not fantastic, but also not bad.  After a quick test drive of his car, I knew it was also not what I was looking for, so we really did not interact for very long.

The other two salesmen who I talked with were great.  These gentlemen were from Toyota and Honda.

The salesman at Toyota actually
 made me want to go places with Toyota

Toyota was the first that I visited, he actually sells my aunt and uncle their cars.  She asked him to talk to me about the process and show me what Toyota had.  He sat down with me for probably about an hour.  Explained the buying process and talked me through some of my misconceptions about cars.  When I asked him why I should buy a Toyota over another car he showed me the results of their customer service, even for vehicles beyond their warranty.

Later in the day I returned to Toyota to get more specific information about a car and I told the salesman that I was considering Toyota and Honda.  He told me that the only problem with me buying a Honda is that I would not be buying it from him.  That says a lot to me about both the quality of the cars and the quality of this salesman, that he would be honest about his competition like that.

The salesman at Honda was also very honest about his competition at Toyota.  He said that he actually had nothing bad to say about Toyota except that it was not Honda. Honestly, I was shocked to hear that kind of honesty from both brands.

The salesman at Honda never really felt like a stereotypical salesman to me.  He was very polite, soft-spoken, and he also took quite a while explaining the car and the car buying process to me.

Over all I had three very good, one mediocre and two bad experiences with salespeople this weekend.  50% pass rate is good, but higher would be better.  Some of these brands are doing great, but some could do a lot better in doing all they can to make customers happy.

After my experiences this weekend, there are brands which I will consider more strongly and earlier in my search processes in the future because of the customer service I have received from them.

Valpo Swimming Memories

For those of you who normally read my blog, this one's gonna be a little bit different and a lot bit longer.

Today was the swim team's end of the year banquet.  It is always a nice event.  Banquet serves as a way to end one season while getting ready for the next.

Since this was my last banquet I have decide to write down some of my Valpo swimming story.

Senior Year of High School
As a senior in high school I faced many potentially life altering decisions; Which college to attend, What to study, To swim or not to swim, etc.  Most of these decisions were helped along by visiting campuses, meeting with faculty, students and athletes.  I decided on 5 schools to apply to, and by January, I had narrowed it down to two.

I knew I was going to study some sort of engineering and that I wanted to swim.  Now it was time for recruiting trips.  I had my first recruiting trip to Butler University.  I loved the school, and liked the team.  I knew I was going to go to Butler.  Until I visited Valpo.  I found the team at Valpo to be so open and welcoming.  These were the people I wanted to spend the next four years with.  I choose Valpo, and I have not looked back.

Freshman Year

Freshman girls, 2009

I started off freshman year living with another freshman swimmer.  There were four girls in my recruiting class plus a team manager.  I immediately felt like I was a part of the whole team.

The upperclassmen were so nice.  The very first weekend of school, some of the older boys on the team invited us to go out with them. We were thrilled to already be part of the team

As a group of freshmen we went on a scavenger hunt, and got little fishies to take care of.  We made posters for the older girls and went out to parties together.

Super-fanning the volleyball game

The older girls were so much fun.  With them we super-fanned a volleyball game, painted t-shirts to cheer for a high school girl's basketball team at the annual national tournament hosted at Valpo.  As a freshman I always felt like I was part of the group and part of the team.

Then we got to the pool.  The coach was relatively new, we were his first recruiting class.  Practices were not as hard as I expected them to be the first week, but way harder than I had expected the second, third, and fourth.

Some of the team just outside the airport in El Salvador

Swim meets in college was not too different from swim meets in high school, except that you swim more and the meet goes faster.  I was shocked when my very first event was the 200 fly, followed by the 100 fly a half hour later.  Welcome to college swimming.

I worked harder in the pool that year than I had at any other point in my swimming career.  By the time our mid-season meet came around, I was ready to go.  I swam almost as fast as I had in high school, that was a good sign of better things to come when conference came around.

Most the team at the pool after the inter-squad meet.

After the mid-season meet we went home for a couple weeks, only to meet up again just after Christmas in O'hare Airport.  We went to Costa Rica for our mid-season training trip.  This trip was not anything anybody had expected from the very beginning.  There was a volcano erupting in Guatemala near the airport when were were supposed to land and meet our connecting flight, so instead we landed in El Salvador.  We spent hours in the airport waiting for a connection to Costa Rica to be rescheduled, we ended up being there for so long that the airline put us up in a hotel for most of the day.  By the time we finally made it to Costa Rica, we were about 15 hours late.

Pink Team

The next day we had our first practice.  Us swimmers had been expecting that we would be training in an 8-lane, 50-meter pool, but it turned out to be a 5-lane, 25-meter pool with lines on the bottom for only four lanes.  It was a small pool, but by the end of the week that did not matter.

Freshman girls at Conference

The reason it did not matter, is that as the week went on people stated getting sick, to this day we are not sure what caused it.  When it was all said and done, about 80% of the team caught the bug.  Five were even so bad that they were actually taken to the hospital.  Everyone ended up getting better, but not without some major setbacks.  Of the eight of us freshman, three of us did not catch the bug.

At the end of the week we had an intersquad meet.  Pink team vs. Black team.  Pink team won, but neither side was as strong as they could have been due to the bug.

Girl's team at banquet

The rest of the season flew by and before we knew it, it was time for the conference meet.  This ended up being one of the best swim meets of my life.  I swam well in my 100 fly, but my 200 fly was fantastic.  I made it into the consolation finals which meant that I got to swim my favorite event again in the afternoon.  I swam the 200 fly four seconds faster in the evening than I had in the morning, due in part to the adrenalin of my first conference finals and in part to one of my teammates asking me to be his girlfriend after my morning swim.

About a month and a half later, we had banquet.  Before banquet we vote for awards.  The team awards MVP, Spirit, Workhorse and Most improved and also elects captains.  I was immensely surprised and honored to find out that I had been awarded the Workhorse Award for the women's team.

That year we graduated 7 seniors, six girls and one guy.  The amazing leadership, confidence and treatment of others that these ladies and guy showed me during my freshman year has inspired me ever since.

Sophomore Year

The returning team sophomore year

Sophomore year was a change for me, I was no longer the youngest, there were new freshmen.  I had to get used to not being in the spotlight as much.  I had gotten used to being in the faster portion of the team as a freshman, but these new freshmen were way faster than me.  

Training trip sophomore year

This year I was living in a quad with the team manager, one teammate and one of her friends.  As the year progressed, my teammate and the team manager joined sororities, and the third decided by December that she was not going to continue at Valpo.  

My first roommate, who had also been a teammate, had decided to leave Valpo after freshman year, so our sophomore class consisted of three girls, the manager, the four original boys plus a transfer from California State University at Northridge.  I was excited to meet the transfer because he was a butterflier.  My fellow butterfliers had graduated the previous year and I was eager for someone else to train with.  

The team also got two other transfers, both juniors; a girl from IUPUI and another boy from California State University at Northridge. 

Girl's team, training trip sophomore year

The ten new freshman were very different from my class, and the team atmosphere was beginning to change.  Not for better or for worse, but just changing, as it did every year after.

This year was similar to the previous.  I did not swim as well as I wanted to at mid-season, and training trip was in Fort Lauderdale, Florida instead of Costa Rica.  Practices were just as hard, I was training more distance and a lot more fly. 

Graduating two of my loves

I really wanted to be on the medley relay at conference, so I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to swim fast and be the best.  I also realized at that point that the team only had one junior, the transfer, and three sophomores, so I had a real chance of becoming captain the next year.  I put a lot of pressure on my self about that too.  I wanted to be a good leader, a good role model, a good teammate.  I wanted to do it all right.

Grads plus some

By the time conference rolled around sophomore year, I was a wreck.  I was stressed because I was not doing as well as I wanted in the pool, and that was effecting me outside of the pool.  Classes were harder, social life was harder. I was trying to balance everything, but not doing so well.  Conference that year was hard for me.  I did not make the relay.  I swam well in the 100 fly, but it was not as well as I wanted to swim because I did not make the relay.  I ended up time-trialing the 100 fly later in the meet, so that I could be content with my swim.  

I was very lucky to be close with some of the senior girls this year.  They helped me through some of the rougher moments and are still very dear friends to me.

Somehow despite all my stress and mess, at banquet the team elected me captain.  We graduated six seniors that year, four girls and two boys.  From them I learned the value of close friends, and people you don't get along with, the importance of being true to yourself and I started to learn not to take what other people think to heart.

Junior Year

The girls team at camping trip junior year

This year began both fun and stressful.  I was captain now, there came certain role and expectations with that  position.  I was determined to be the best captain I could be.

This year I was rooming with another swimmer.  Some how she was roommate number 7 at Valpo.  I was also determined to make this roommate relationship last the year.  I tried hard to make it successful.

Halloween junior year

One of my classmates-teammates was in New Zealand for the fall semester.  The other girl in our class on the team decided that she needed to take some time off swimming so that she could focus on academics.  Two of the boys in our class transferred.  So, at least of first semester, we were left with me on the girls side and three on the guys side.

This year we had crazy amounts of new freshmen join the team.  16 to be exact.  And all sixteen of them made it to the end of the season.  Things started out well at the beginning of the year, we were all getting along.  I was getting really close to one of the freshmen.  Then something happened and I felt like I could not connect with any of them.  Sure they were nice at the pool, and we could get

Me and roommate #7 at training trip

along, but every interaction with them felt forced and robotic.  There was none of the easy flow of conversation or sharing of secrets.  I was on the outside a lot.  And I still don't know why.

I also was having trouble with my co-captains.  I would suggest doing something and they would ignore me, or do it entirely without me.  I felt like I could never win.  

My swimming this year struggled.  Because of the I felt like I was on the outside, because classes were way harder, because I was committed to other organizations outside of swimming, because of a lot of things, my swimming was not what I wanted it to be.  

Juniors, junior year

Mid-season meet was again ok, but nothing spectacular   One of the freshmen broke the 200 fly record that I had been trying for since my freshman year.  I was heartbroken.  I had worked so hard, I had trained so hard, and she just came in and broke it.  I know that's how things work, but it was so disappointing to me.

The whole team at banquet sophomore year

Training trip was in Fort Lauderdale again.  We trained hard again.  I had gotten a cold over Christmas break and it turned into bronchitis during training trip.  I had to spend a few practices out of the water while I got over it. 

When conference came around, I was still trying for that medley relay spot.  Unfortunately, the day of the race, I was not the fastest 100 buttflier.  I did not get to swim it.  My other races were again ok, but again not spectacular.

Banquet this year was especially stressful.  I knew there was a chance that I would not be elected captain for the next year.  I did not know how I would react.  It turns out that my team believed that there were better leadership options for the team as a whole.  I was not reelected.  I composed myself for pictures then headed out to figure out how I felt about it.  

That year we graduated five seniors, one girl and four guys.  It is amazing the things that I have learned from teammates and this year was no exception.  I learned not to care so much, that sometimes it is ok to break the rule and many other things that I cannot exactly name.

Senior Year

The team senior year

Not being captain turned out to be a good thing.  Sure there are things I would have done better the second time around but it also meant that senior year could be for me.  And that is exactly what happened.  Senior year I decided it was time to swim for myself, not for my coach, not for my team, not for a spot on a relay, just for me.

My class had dwindled down to four.  On the girls side I was alone, on the guys side there were three.  All of us were four year swimmers.  Three of us were four year Valpo swimmers and, fun fact, none of the three of us had gotten sick in Costa Rica.

Finally Seniors!!

We had 16 new freshmen start the season and 14 of them finished it.  I was finally able to connect with some of these freshmen.  Especially the girls.  Over the season I got to be very close with most the freshmen girls.  A couple of the girls were even studying engineering which was a huge plus for me.  

This year was so much nicer.  Classes weren't as hard, I was bonding with the freshmen, I didn't have the stress of "next year" hanging over my head (at least in terms of swimming).  I was just swimming.  And it was beautiful.  

Swimming for the joy of it

Finally, my fly did not feel awkward, I was dropping time.  Things were working for me.  I was happy to be in the water again.  I had one teammate who was very close to my times in the 100 fly.  We raced in practice and at almost every meet.  She was faster than me for a 50, but I could usually catch her by the 100.  She was great competition.  At the mid-season meet I swam a collegiate best time in the individual 100 fly.  In the relay, I actually broke a minute in the 100 fly.  A feat I had not been able to do since high school.  

Me and a couple freshmen at training trip

Training trip was again in Fort Lauderdale, again it was the hardest training of my life, but this year I was not sick.  I was actually able to swim every practice and I swam more fly that week than I had ever before in my life.   

Butterfly Babes senior year

Conference was at the end of February.  Because of my times at mid-season I was on the medley relay.  Finally I would get to swim fly in the relay.  Not only did I get to swim the relay, I also managed to make it into the consolation finals of the 100 fly. I had not made finals in any event since my freshman year.  By making finals, I got to swim the 100 fly three times.  All three swims were under a minute.  I swam the 200 fly on the last day and a 200 fly has never felt so good.  I was strong enough to swim it and not hurt more than necessary.  When I was swimming it, I knew it was my last race in college.  I literally just enjoyed it.  Somewhere in the middle of it I smiled.  People don't smile when they swim the 200 fly.  But I did.  I loved that swim.  It was a great way to end my college swimming.  

Of course the season is not quite over with conference.  We still had banquet.  I was excited to see who would win the awards and who would be elected captain.  I was completely shocked when coach called out my name as a tie for women's team spirit award.  Shocked and honored.  I feel so very honored that my team voted for me for that award.  

The Future

While college swimming is over, my life-time love of the sport is not.  I don't know where my swimming will go from here, but I do know that I am not done and this is not the end.  

I have not by any means compiled all the stories from my four years at Valpo on this page, but these are some and they are my story.

0.2% Do It

I was at Valpo's 22nd Annual Student Athlete Academic Banquet tonight where student athletes with cumulative GPA's above 3.25 are honored.  As with most banquets there were several speakers.  One of the speakers was a guy on the golf team and in his speech he mentioned a few statistics:

1. Only about 10% of high school students participate in school athletics, and
2. Only about 2% of that 10% goes on to participate at a collegiate level.

That means that there is 0.2% chance that any student will participate in college athletics.

I want to give a shout out to everyone in that 0.2% for making a commitment to continue to participate in sports.  But in particular I really want to congratulate all my fellow seniors who not only have participated in college athletics, but who have done it for four years.

It sucks right now because it is all coming to an end, but to my senior teammates here at Valpo, Kevin, Steve and Guillermo, you always put so much into practices and the team, and I congratulate you guys on four great years of swimming, school, and oh so much more.

Listening to the speaker tonight I also started to think about my high school teammates.  The ones who went on to swim in college and those who did not. To Sammy, Lauren, Jenny, Andre and everyone else, who have all recently completed your senior swim seasons, I say congrats on beating the odds and continuing to do what you love.

It is not always easy to be a student and an athlete, but we have all beaten the odds, and THAT is pretty awesome.

What's Your Worth?

It second semester, senior year of college and it's time to start doing what everyone else does.  It's time to go to grad school and postpone real life for just a bit longer or it's time to go find a job and start real life for real.

For me that means real life and a big girl job.

Last week I had a few interviews for a potential real life job.  You know the kind, standard interview, standard questions.  I answered and asked the same questions in all of them.  But there is always one question that throws me off.

The money question.

How much do you want? or What are you expecting?  That question is stressful for me.  I don't know how much I want or even what I should expect.  I have spent the last several years paying for an education, but I don't know what my skills are worth to an employer.

I did the research and found out what the average starting salary for someone with my education is.  I talked to my parents and my professors but I still don't exactly know how to answer that question.

Am I worth the cost of my education, or am I worth the same as anyone with my level of education in my field?  How is the best way to place a value on me and my skills?  And what about the benefits, per diems, and other compensations?  How do those effect my worth and pay?

These are questions to which I do not have an answer.  Hopefully I will get some ideas in the next couple weeks so that I can answer that question appropriately when the time comes.

Art 163: Portraiture

It's been a while since I posted anything here.  I was on spring break in Colorado for a couple weeks, and then getting back to school has been pretty crazy.  What with our basketball team making the big dance and playing in my hometown and just getting back in the swing of school after three weeks away, I have been pretty busy.

Anyway, tomorrow I have an assignment due for my photography class.  This week we focused on portraiture.  While I had the opportunity to go in and use the studio in the Art Building, I decided to take a different route.

I was vaguely inspired by this photo by Paul Strand.  Here he labels his subject as what she is, Blind.

My idea was a little more abstract.  I had my subject in a comfortable environment/stereotype sector.  I then asked them to hold a sign which listed them as being in a totally different stereotypical group.

The Karate Student is also a Band Geek, the Sorority Girl is also an Electrical Engineer.  Each subject can be both labeled as their environment or as their stereotype sign.

Enjoy these pictures, and see if you can come up with an environment and stereotype sign for yourself!